how to fully relax on vacation—even if youre a type a personality

Travel

How to Fully Relax on Vacation—Even If You're a Type A Personality

Drescription

After years of jam-packed travel-writer trips trying to see every must-do at a destination, that became my default setting for every vacation I planned. And even though it was a ton of fun following up a surfing lesson in Hawaii with snorkeling and a hike, that do-or-die vacation mode often left me and my traveling crew exhausted—and even, sometimes, sick—by the time we headed home. So after one too many "I need a vacation from my vacation" trips, I've embraced a kinder, gentler travel-planning style.

If you're trying to create a vacation plan that leaves you feeling renewed and refreshed—while still giving your Type A, do-it-all monster a little space—incorporate some of these tips into your next getaway.

01

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Choose Your Destination Wisely

If you're the type to be tempted by all the activity in a destination (and Type A folks are definitely the type), avoid locations that are jam-packed with too much to do—like bustling cities or massive theme parks. (If you've found a way to make a Disney World vacation relaxing, you're a better travel planner than I am!)

Fewer activity options equals less FOMO.

02

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Minimize Travel Headaches

Getting to and from your travel destination are the least enjoyable and most stressful parts of every vacation. But there are things you can do to ease the pain—and maybe even add a little fun to the proceedings.

Avoid peak travel times and days—so you can spend more of your time off relaxing than in rush-hour traffic or a long airport security line.

Choose flights that require minimal layovers or are direct, if possible. Every time you have to change flights is a bit of a drag on your energy, and any delay along the route could increase your chances of stressful missed flights and lost luggage.

Break up a long road trip. Have I driven 11 hours with minimal rest stops? Yes. Was it fun for anyone? Nope. We've started making the journey part of the vacation by seeking out fun stops along the way, like a cool ice cream stand or a scenic overlook.

03

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Embrace JOMO, Not FOMO

If you're Type A, you're probably looking for ways to "win" at vacation—ensure that you see all the must-dos, get that perfect Instagram shot of that eye-candy scenery, and eat at the best spot in the area. But rather than being afraid of missing that one last detail that'll make your vacation a thrill, look for joy in picking and choosing more mindfully to ensure plenty of down time.

To that end, we have everyone we're traveling with list their one must-do event, and that's our itinerary. We don't find ourselves missing those to-the-minute itineraries of the past—and we're finding there's a lot of joy in missing out on all that crowded "must-do" nonsense.

That's exactly what Kayla Inserra DeLoache, consumer travel trends expert at KAYAK, recommends. "Keep it simple by planning one main thing to do each day. When you don't cram too much into your schedule, you can enjoy your vacation without feeling rushed or anxious about time. It's the perfect way to kick back, enjoy every moment, and truly make the most of your time off."

04

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Leave the Laptop at Home—and Minimize Your Phone Time

Another major source of stress on a Type A person's vacation? The things you can't leave behind at home. In fact, about 68% of people actually work on vacation, according to a 2023 survey by ELVTR—and my guess is that number is much higher among Type As.

That means you need to put in roadblocks to make it harder for you to be on call or check in at work. Leaving the laptop at home makes it tough to draft long emails or work on time-suck projects, so you're less tempted to spend a lot of time catching up with the office.

DeLoache recommends keeping the phone tucked away as much as possible. "Nothing disrupts relaxation more than constant notifications pulling you out of the moment, whether it's work emails, group chats, or random distractions. By putting away your phone, you can fully enjoy the present moment and make the most of your experience without any interruptions."

Even if you can't give up your smartphone entirely, silence notifications, put time limits on the use of work-related apps, and turn the phone completely off when you're not using it so it's harder to stay in touch with the stress of work.

05

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Set Aside a "Wing-It" Day

We reserve our last day of vacation as the Anthony Bourdain Day, in honor of the late culinary writer's encouragement to wing it for a more authentic travel experience. "Letting the happy accident happen is what a lot of vacation itineraries miss, I think, and I'm always trying to push people to allow those things to happen rather than stick to some rigid itinerary," he said.

Our Anthony Bourdain Day is when we do whatever we really want—like relaxing on a pool float at a country house rental, or people watching with baguette sandwiches on a Parisian park bench—and those are often ranked among our best vacation memories ever.

06

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Add Buffer Days Before (or After) Your Vacation

If you can afford the extra time off, consider adding a day off on either side of your vacation that doesn't involve you traveling or doing anything stressful. That'll help ensure you're more relaxed when you arrive on vacation, or allow you to ease back into your daily life.

DeLoache also recommends making the first day at a destination your buffer day. "There's no need to rush into a packed itinerary the moment you arrive. Instead, embrace the gradual transition, which can help you unwind and settle into a more relaxed state of mind."

07

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Work in a Spa Treatment

If I'm at a destination that offers a massage or a facial, I'm booking it! I've found that having a spa event a few days into a vacation gives me more time to enjoy that relaxed vibe while I'm still on my getaway.

For the ultimate in relaxation, you might even want to set up a spa treatment at home for the day after you arrive back from vacation, as a mini-refresh before you're back to the grind.

08

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Don't Be Afraid to Change Plans—or Opt Out

With our past high-energy vacations, we often soldiered on, even if we (or our kids) were exhausted. But now, if someone's not up to an activity, we make space for that—whether we all opt out of the excursion for a plan B (i.e. napping at the pool), or split up so some can chill on the beach while the others go paddleboarding.

09

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Get Back to Nature

Even in the largest cities, you can find parks or botanical gardens where you can bask in the natural beauty. But as we've shifted toward more relaxing vacation plans, we've found that nature destinations—whether it's a lovely beach rental or a spectacular visit to a national park—have really allowed us all to unwind.

Never Harvest Your Herbs at This Time of Day, Garden Pros Warn—It Will Ruin the Flavor

Whether you have a full bed of rosemary, oregano, and mint or are growing a mini edible herb garden in pots, there' a specific methodology in retaining flavor and freshness that comes down to the time of day you harvest. We spoke with two experts to understand the worst time of day to harvest herbs, and how to set your harvesting schedule up for success when it comes to timing. Meet the Expert Sara Rubens is a certified garden coach and founder of Seed to Sanctuary, a company that supports people in becoming proficient gardeners. Edwin Dysinger is an expert gardener and the co-founder of the garden planning app Seedtime. The Worst Time to Harvest Herbs The worst time to harvest herbs is in the afternoon, especially during the summer when the day hits its hottest point. "This is when the sun is strongest and the plants are under the most stress," says gardening coach Sara Rubens. "During this time, essential oils—which are responsible for the herb’s aroma and flavor—tend to dissipate due to the heat." In doing so, you potentially lose out on a lot of their unique taste and won't be able to experience the plant at its best. However, there is a single exception to the rule. "If your goal is longer shelf life, rather than greater potency and flavor, it is ideal to harvest from mid-day to afternoon," says expert gardener Edwin Dysinger. "This is because during the day, as the herbs photosynthesize, they manufacture carbohydrates (sugars) as a byproduct. Higher carbohydrate levels in the leaves result in better post-harvest storage." On extremely hot summer days, you may still need to adjust your harvesting time to earlier. Even if you're planning for storage as opposed to using right away, the sun can scorch or wilt the leaves. Best Time to Harvest Herbs The best time to harvest your herbs is in the morning, just after the dew has dried and before the sun gets too hot. While your culinary and DIY endeavors will benefit from the exceptional flavor, there are a few other reasons for this. "In addition to having higher levels of essential oils in the morning, levels of vitamins, antioxidants, and polyphenols are also higher and decrease as the day progresses with prolonged exposure to the sun," says Dysinger. How to Harvest Herbs for Maximum Flavor Now that you have the time of day down, there are a few other factors to consider for an optimal harvest. Dysinger notes that for leafy herbs that eventually flower, it's best to harvest before those blooms appear. Not only will it impact the taste if they flower, but leave production will decrease, too. "Regular picking of leaves will help to prolong the time before flowering," he says. "If you want to do a larger harvest for preservation and storage, leave between one-half and two-thirds of the plant intact. This will enable it to have the strength to regrow quickly for more harvests." Well-timed plucking and harvesting are imperative, as is giving your herbs the best possible growing conditions. Ruben notes that well-draining soil, ample sunlight, and the right levels of water are key—and so is pruning. "Regular pruning encourages bushier growth and more tender leaves," she says. If you have cooler patches around your garden, consider bringing in some herbs that grow in shade, like cilantro or sweet cicely. Don't forget to take a look at herb companion plants for successful growth and to overwinter your plants so you can keep the cycle going next season. 5 Tips for Flavorful Herbs Here are a few expert-approved tips for keeping your herbs full of flavor: Harvest in the morning. Do so after the dew dries and before the sun reaches its peak. This will retain flavor, antioxidants, and oils. Watch the fertilizer. Ruben notes that too much fertilizer can dilute the flavor of herbs too. "Growing herbs in nutrient-rich but not overly fertile soil, and harvesting them at the right time, will help ensure they’re flavorful and aromatic," she says. Understand your herbs' needs. Make sure that they're receiving the right amount of light or shade, water, and nutrients; even herbs that love the sun might need shade on extremely hot days. Prevent bolting. Don't allow certain herbs (like basil) to flower if you intend to harvest—this can put a damper on the taste. Know your herb. Learn which parts are edible for each herb type you have. You'll be able to make the most of every bit of flavor this way.

Want Endless Thyme? Here’s How to Harvest It Without Wrecking the Plant

Thyme is an easy-growing, evergreen Mediterranean shrub that is generally low maintenance, thriving in sun conditions. It's drought tolerant and comes back every year, but it does have one quirk—you have to harvest thyme correctly if you want it to thrive rather than die. Want to know how to get it exactly right? Here's how to harvest thyme, when to do it, and exactly how much to take. When to Harvest Thyme The best time to harvest thyme is during the growing season, which runs from spring through early summer. You can also harvest before winter’s cooler temperatures begin to set in. Try to harvest in the morning, which is when thyme's flavors are strongest. Thyme needs to be harvested regularly to keep its woody growth from taking over but, if you chop off too much, you risk damaging or killing the plant. If left to its own devices, thyme can become woody or flower, which negatively impacts the flavor of the herb. Harvesting thyme prevents woody growth, encourages more stems to fill in, and keeps the flavor of the thyme fresh and herbal. How to Harvest Thyme The first step in any harvest is to grab a sharp, clean pair of pruning shears or scissors and focus on the top of the plant. Carefully cut off a sprig either at the soil or above a leaf node. Avoid the woody stems, which don't have the same flavor as the younger leaves. How Much Thyme Should You Harvest? Harvesting thyme could mean a small cut or a big cut. You could trim off just a few stems, or you could cut off the entire top of the plant for a major harvest. For a significant harvest, you can trim up to half the plant, starting with the leaves on top, which should prevent the plant from blooming. Leave enough of the plant so that it is able to recover and grow back. Take too much and you could damage or even kill the plant; not enough, and you're not giving the plant an opportunity to fill out and grow to its full potential. Don't be shy in your cuts, but be sure to leave enough woody stems on the bottom for the plant to regrow. There should also be green leaves remaining after you've completed the harvest. How to Store Thyme If you're tempted to use up all of your fragrant thyme right away, go for it—thyme is most flavorful immediately after harvesting. As it sits for longer, its flavorful oils begin to fade away. Here are four ways to store thyme. Store Thyme in a Damp Paper Towel in the Fridge If you don't plan on using it in the first few days, resist the urge to take the leaves off the stem. Storing thyme all in one piece helps maintain the flavor, especially if you put them inside a plastic bag, wrapped in a damp paper towel. This should keep for up to two weeks. Dry Thyme Drying is the longest-lasting option. Hang bunches upside down in a dark area for two weeks. Once it's dried, store the full bunches in a resealable bag, and break the leaves off the stems when you're ready to use it. Bunch Up Drying thyme? Bundle the sprigs as you go, aiming for 40 sprigs in each bundle. Put Thyme in a Glass of Water You can also keep it in the fridge in small glass of water. While the thyme won't continue to grow, it will stay perky for up to a few months. Remember to change the water out at least once a week. Freeze Cubes of Thyme Thyme can also be kept in the freezer for use in a pinch in a soup or sauce. Chop it up finely, then put it in an ice cube tray with a thin layer of water on top. Wait until the cubes freeze, then pop them out to throw in your next chicken soup. Harvesting vs. Pruning Thyme: What's the Difference? While harvesting and pruning thyme both involve cutting back the plant, they are not the same; they have different goals and approaches, though both will prevent the plant from becoming too woody. With harvesting, you're cutting the plant at the ideal time in its growth to enhance the flavor of the stems you're gathering. This is typically done in the spring or summer, before the plant blooms. With pruning, you just want to trim the plant before winter to give it time to recover. You can prune thyme after it has bloomed—at this point, the flavor doesn't typically matter. This is being done for the health of the plant and making sure that it comes back next year, ready to produce a new crop.

How We Made Vintage-Inspired Corbels For The Outdoor Kitchen Gazebo

As I was designing this “kitchen gazebo,” I found almost no inspiration that looked and functioned like I wanted ours to look/feel. They were mostly big boxy McMansion-looking Texas-style structures or hexagonal sweet old timey gazebos, but I found almost no images of rectangular covered structures that looked charming and pretty. So I knew that it would have to be done in the details – i.e., custom rafter tails, or in today’s case, vintage-inspired corbels. A corbel is a structural and decorative bracket that connects the beams to the posts in the corners, creating a stronger structure and, for me, softening the harshness of the strong lines. It was a perfect opportunity to add some sweet charm and make this structure less boxy. The Original Corbels On The Covered Walkway I got the idea for them from our very own covered walkway that had corbels between each post and beam, as you can see above. I loved the sweet scrollwork and wanted to mimic that, but bigger for the gazebo (we also had four small ones leftover from the part of the walkway that didn’t make it that we put on the island – I’ll show you later). Time To Shop… So I went down to Aurora Mills, my favorite architectural salvage place, 1/2 hour outside of Portland, and shopped. My hope was to get 8 large corbels that matched, but of course, we had specific dimensions we had to stay within, and obviously, stylistically, I had my dream corbel in mind. I knew it would be a shot in the dark, but I didn’t know where else to start. If nothing else, I’d come back with some inspiration and firmer ideas. Aurora Mills had a ton of antique corbels, saved from vintage Victorian houses. It was super inspiring, and I got to really dig into their whole inventory to see if I could make anything work. I collected every single option that would fit size-wise (we needed them to be at least 4-5″ thick, at least 11″ deep, and the height had some flexibility, but the structure was big, so I was hoping for a 12×16-sized corbel. I was obsessed with all these carved out details – we just don’t do this anymore (OR – spoiler – DO WE???? :)) We tried hard to find four that matched and couldn’t. Then we were like, what if we found some that were close enough and when painted, would work together? Could 8 different corbels, all painted white, look charming and eclectic? Or just really amateur? I also took note of other architectural design elements that I liked – this is the best thing about shopping vintage, you are forced out of a box because you are beholden to what is available. I LOVED the floral design on this salvaged piece of gingerbread, and tried to make it work a few different places on the property. I LOVED the one on the left, with that sweet and simple little cut out and there were a few that were similar to it, but they were in pretty bad shape, meaning they would need repair on their own before they were even painted (this kind of work can cost a lot of money in my experience). The simpler brackets on the right were strong (and there were tons of them), so we even thought about combining the two – see below. I think the (desperate) thought here was to buy vintage/reclaimed, do something creative to make it work by taking the floral cutout and pasting it inside the simpler bracket. This is where you start realizing that you are complicating your life so much just to use something vintage (I’ve done this MANY times, with varying degrees of success/failure). We still brought them all to our house to check them out (Aurora Mills knows me and let me borrow them for a day). I LOVED how it looked, and that’s when I made the smart (albeit more expensive) decision to hire a local maker to make 8 new ones, based on the vintage design. Purl To The Rescue! I called my friend/frequent collaborator Purl (follow @total_nonsequitur) and asked him if he could make these custom corbels. He is just one of those talented makers and artists who can figure out anything and loves the challenge (he made my coffee table, my huge paint brush and pencil, my sofa table, and I have so many of his paintings). I showed him a picture of the corbel and gave him the dimensions to make sure it was all doable before he came over. Then he popped by and we went over it – in a perfect world, we would have eight large ones and four small ones, the large ones being on the main posts and the small ones on the overhang. It was a big ask – that’s 12 custom corbels, two different designs that all had to look good with each other. I wasn’t looking for a new design, though; I really just wanted that simple floral Scandi corbel replicated. So he brought that back and used it as a template to create a new one. Purl shopped for and used reclaimed wood (both for cost purposes and the make it look a bit less polished/perfect/new). He created the cut-out design with a special tool for both ends, then stacked wood in between to add the thickness that we needed. I was so excited as he sent me photo after photo. I approved them, he dropped them off (this was while I was in Belize), and my brother started hanging them. In a perfect world, they would have been done in time to paint, but we had to stick to a schedule, so our painter painted the structure and planned to come back to paint these separately. I think he used massive screws to scre them in? Not totally sure. All I know is that I came back from Belize, and it looked like this: I was THRILLED!!!! They looked SO GOOD. Once painted white, they looked sweet and pretty, but not too fussy. They actually scaled down the gazebo in my mind, softening the lines. Next up were the smaller ones to go on those ends – we had waited to start them, unsure that we 100% needed them, but once these 8 were up, I really wanted the final four small ones to make those corners even softer. I just LOVED the vibe it was creating and wanted more. I gave Purl the creative control to make the smaller ones however he wanted to work with the larger ones – he knows more about the process of making them and what would actually work based on his learnings on the larger ones (without needing to buy new equipment or experiment more). Here you can see how they all look together (and you can even look closely to see our vintage small corbels holding up the island countertop). I LOVE how they look so much. Purl did such an incredible job at making them look original and vintage – they are scaled perfectly to the gazebo and definitely soften all the rectangular lines. And then yes, my brother painted the glued the old covered walkway corbels onto the island to make it look like it’s holding up the countertops. It’s a sweet little detail that I love a lot. And that’s the story of our custom corbels. If you are wondering how much they cost, I think I paid Purl $2,900 for all 12 of them (including materials and labor). It’s not nothing, but felt fair for the amount of time and talent that went into making these custom. By the way, I looked online a lot before and found some pretty great vintage-inspired dupes on Etsy (that were around $400 each, so not that much less), but they weren’t as sweet as ours, no cut-out flower. The only thing I regret is not paying the dough to do custom rafter tails (the part of the roofline that juts out that you can see from this angle). We did them throughout our house, but it’s a substantial cost (about $1k each), so we didn’t do it> But if I could snap my fingers, those ends would also be softened by a carved out curve. More To Come… We still need to hang our pendants that didn’t come in til a week after we had to shoot. We have big 20″ copper ladies from Rejuvenation that are rad and going to be hung pretty high, so you see them but still have a sense of airiness and space. For now, the string lights provide enough light, but the pendants will look so pretty. Additionally, we might add heaters to extend our time out here by months on either end of summer, and we might have to add gutters (but really hoping not to have to spend the money). Oh, and we did buy the big custom island cover that RTA makes for each – it’s a big U-shaped cover (in addition to grill covers) that you can put on the entire thing all winter long.

6 Beauty Products I Use Every day

wearing the same EXACT makeup for 6 years. Not because I don't try new things, or because I'm not into beauty, but because these products are exceptional. They were all originally recommended to me by pros (makeup artists when I started my on-camera career) and every time I've strayed from them I've come back, crying, makeup smeared down my face. I know that every skin is different, obviously, so I'm not necessarily talking about the shade or color - it's the product itself that is shockingly good regardless of what color of skin it's on. 1. Eye Brow Pencil by Laura Mercier. If Obama knocked on my door and I only had time to apply ONE thing to my face it would be my eyebrows so I could do my special eye-brow move for him. I look strangely sick without those two little lines across my face. I've tried one million different kinds out of sheer desperation (and because I don't really want to spend that much on an eyebrow pencil), but this one has the most natural looking colors. I think that nobody wants to be the lady with the drawn on eyebrows, but some of us have to be. This is a very good one that is easy to apply (it has a good consistency) and a really natural looking color. I buy fair blonde. 2. Orgasm Collection Blush by NARS. The only thing wrong with this blush is its name. When I was 24 I bartended at a bar with a drink called the "G Spot" and I think that SO many more people would have ordered that drink had they not had to say "hey lady, can I get a G-Spot over here?" So disregard that bad name because this is America's blush. It has a huge cult following because it makes every cheek look happy. Even if your skin is a wildly different tone, this blush is for you. It looks crazy hot pink but once its on your face it just looks healthy and alive. Ask any makeup artist in the world (because they all have it in their kit) about this blush and they'll tell you it's amazing. Be careful with "Super Orgasm" because its kinda shiny. 3. Long-Lasting 12 Hour Wear Eyeliner by Sephora. Everyday I put on a tiny line of eyeliner on the top of my lash line, and this one is by far the best. I've tried the really expensive and the really cheap. Most of them are too shiny, smudge too easily, have a brush thats too thick to apply, don't stay on long enough, or don't ever come off. This is just simple, easy, jet black (or brown), and long wearing. Plus it ain't expensive. 4. Luminous Silk Foundation by Giorgio Armani. When I was first introduced to this I was like "foundation? Base? What am I, a lady-mom from 1985?" But then they applied it on my face and my skin looked immediately fresh, flawless, and totally makeup free. It's expensive but worth every penny. I used to drive to Beverly Hills to buy this stuff when I ran out (because it used to only be sold at Saks in store). It has a SLIGHT reflective quality that makes the light bounce off your skin in a really healthy-glow kind of way, and it's really light so you never feel like you are wearing makeup, yet it covers all dark circles (I don't even wear concealer), and flaws. 5. Long Lash Mascara by Laura Mercier. Now this is the only one where I'm like "I like it" but I'm not swearing by it. I'm desperate to find my mascara. Something that doesn't smudge, but is long lasting, easy to take off, and doesn't clump. If it can add length and curl then wonderful. Extra credit if it makes me look like Kim Kardashian circa 2008. But seriously, any amazing ones out there? I've tried fancy (Chanel), and drugstore (Loreal) with the same similar results - not bad, but not the one. Maybe I just have bad short blonde lashes and will never be satisfied because ultimately a mascara will never give me what I want. That could be it. Also I got eyelash extensions recently which was a DISASTER - so expensive and barely made a difference. And then as they grew out I kept picking at them and ripped out so many of my own lashes, so now I have stupid short, choppy lashes. Perhaps mascara isn't my biggest problem. 6. Chubby Stick Intense Moisturizing Lip Color Balm by Clinique. I love these and I have them in MANY colors. They look natural, and give your face a little pop without looking like "OH HEY GIRL CHECK OUT MY LIPSTICK." And you can apply it easily in the car or anywhere without a mirror because you can't really mess it up. Plus it's moisturizing and feels good. And kinda tastes good. I was a kid that ate chapstick, so theres that. SO. Those are mine. I'm loyal and I keep it pretty simple. I don't have boxes of eye shadow for a special occasion (although I do like this one). Every now and again I wear a brighter lip, or for on-camera work I put on lashes, but generally this is what I like on my face and many of those are universally good - it's not the color that I love, its the product. And now, dish.