how to be such an amazing house guest you get invited back every time

Travel

How to Be Such an Amazing House Guest You Get Invited Back Every Time

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Whether you're crashing with a friend for convenience, invited for a leisurely stay at a cousin's summer home, or headed to your future in-laws' place for the first overnight visit, house guest etiquette matters. And if you've ever hosted family or friends for an extended stay, you know just how refreshing a well-behaved, respectful, game, and grateful house guest is—and how exhausting a not-so-awesome one can be.

Here are 14 house guest etiquette rules to follow, no matter who you're staying with or how long you plan to be there. (Trust us, this is how you get invited back.)

01

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Be Clear About How Long You're Staying

Make sure you clear the duration of you stay with your hosts as far in advance as possible—at their invitation, of course. Don't be vague or hope to extend your stay once you arrive. Of course, there is a chance they might extend an offer, but don't make assumptions. If your BFF says they'll be busy after Labor Day, book your return ticket to leave a full day before so they have some time to themselves. The last thing you want to do is take advantage of your host.

There's an old saying that houseguests are like fish, and start to stink after three days—so you may want to keep your visit brief to ensure you're exciting, not exhausting.

02

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Don't Show Up Unannounced

It's never a good idea to show up without notice—or, even worse, to show up with a pet, child, significant other, or friend (even if it's a mutual friend) in tow, unless you've cleared it with your host beforehand. You may call it spontaneous and fun, but your cousin and their spouse may call it inconvenient.

03

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Travel as Light as Possible

Try to avoid overpacking for your visit, to help minimize the amount of stuff your hosts need to store. (This is especially important if they don't have a dedicated guest room and you're using their bedroom or a sofa bed in the main space.) If you need to bring some larger items (like a portable crib for your baby or sports equipment), be sure to give them a heads up so they're ready to accommodate it.

04

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Bring a Thoughtful Gift

A grateful guest always brings their host a gift—a little something to show their gratitude. However, there's no need to haul something huge or extravagant all the way there. A local treat from your hometown bakery, a beautiful coffee table book, flowers, a nice candle, or bottle of wine all work perfectly. Headed to someone's vacation house? Get them something on theme: beach towels or a cocktail-themed gift would be perfect.

05

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Follow House Rules

When you arrive, gently inquire about how things are done to avoid any misunderstandings. What time does everyone usually wake up and go to bed? Anything you should know about the kids or pets? Should you leave the thermostat alone? Pick up on other house rules by being in tune with your hosts. This could mean observing whether or not you should take your shoes off indoors or if you should keep your phone away from the dinner table. Also, refrain from finishing the coffee or milk (but if you do, replace it).

06

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Limit Your Phone Use

Spending too much time with your face in a screen will make your hosts feel like they're boring you (and, honestly, you might be boring them). It makes your company feel like there's somewhere else you'd rather be, or someone else you'd rather be spending time with. Try to limit screen time and only check emails, texts, and social media in the privacy of your own room.

07

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Act More Appropriate Than Usual

Before you walk down the hall in only a towel, curse, tell inappropriate jokes, or come downstairs for breakfast in your PJs, take cues from your host. When in doubt, err on the side of modesty. If you're planning a dinner out with your hosts, ask what attire is appropriate for the restaurant (e.g. no jeans) so you can pack accordingly.

08

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Be Extremely Helpful

Unhelpful guests are rarely invited back. Things you should offer to do: Help prep or cook meals; set the table and do the dishes; offer to drive; occupy the kids while their parents take a well-deserved nap; fix a little something around the house if you have the skills; or take the dog for a walk. Even if you're turned down, the hosts will appreciate the gesture.

Things you should do without asking for a thumbs up: Clear your dishes when you're done eating; buy some groceries and maybe the fixings for cocktails; get your own kids out of the house for an hour or two; fill up the tank if you borrow the car; strip your sheets at the end of your stay (unless you're told otherwise).

09

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Be (at Least Somewhat) Self-Sufficient

Your hosts might be happy to see a Broadway show or the Lincoln Memorial for the third time, but they may also choose to get some things done while you are out and about. Your friend might actually be working during the day, so being able to entertain yourself will be a godsend for both of you. If you're staying for more than three days, call up other friends who live in the city, bring some work of your own to do, or be okay exploring on your own. Let your host know your plans and when you think you will get back.

10

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Bring Your Own Toiletries

Don't expect to use any of your hosts' toiletries or other items. If you realize you've forgotten to pack toothpaste, inquire about where you can buy a new tube. They'll likely be happy to offer theirs, but first demonstrate that you're not a mooch.

11

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Bring Your Own Ideas

Hosting can be a lot of work—from getting the house ready to making sure everyone is comfortable throughout the stay. Often, visitors also expect hosts to plan activities for everyone. So, one great way you could lessen the burden on your gracious host is to arrive ready with a list of ideas of things you might want to do or see—or even where you might want to eat. That way, they won't feel solely responsible for keeping you entertained during your trip.

12

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Restock the Groceries You Used

A good host will likely make sure you've always got something to eat and drink while you're staying with them. Before you leave, it'd be a great idea to replace some of the items you consumed during your stay and help restock your host's pantry. For example, maybe you used their honey or milk every morning for you tea or coffee. Even if they told you to help yourself, replacing the honey, milk, tea, coffee, and other items like that would be a super nice—and definitely appreciated—gesture.

13

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Leave Things Cleaner Than You Found Them

If there's one thing to take away from these etiquette tips, it should be this: Leave the place as clean as possible. The last thing you want is for your host to have to hire a cleaner after your stay.

On your last day, triple-check the bedroom and bathroom for your belongings. Strip the sheets and put them in a pillowcase at the foot of the bed. Do a quick wipe-down of the counters in the bathroom for toothpaste, extra cups, or loose hair. And, of course, return any items to their place, like a book you borrowed from the bookshelf.

14

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Say Thank You

Thank your host three times: when you arrive, when you're about to leave, and once more after you've gone with a handwritten thank-you note. Here, an email won't cut it. Throw in a specific detail about how much fun you had doing a certain activity, how hard you laughed at a particular story, or how delicious a specific meal was. Finish with an offer to open up your own home next time. For an optional but memorable thank you, pick up a fresh bouquet of flowers and leave them in a vase on the kitchen counter with your note before you leave. Otherwise, mail your card within two or three days of your visit.

A Quick River House Guest Bathroom Reveal

Welcome to a quick reveal of my brother’s guest bath which is small, cute, blue and right next to that new pink bedroom that we are obsessed with. Max Humphrey and I designed this together – starting almost 3 years ago when I was still in Arrowhead! He has the same tile in his bathroom, which was the jumping-off point and we designed the rest of it it to be simple and contemporary. The Tile We worked with Ann Sacks on the tile and chose their Context line for the walls in this really pretty denim blue color called Spa. The wall tile is 2×12 so you can see we did a vertical row and then a horizontal tile on top, essentially creating a type of stripe. It’s a nice way to lay out tile to have it not be busy but do something interesting (neither a stack nor a stagger, no offense to either of those :)). We wanted to do a sort of color drench in here so we used a darker blue penny tile in a color called Lantern on the floor – a real Max Humphrey move. As you can see there is a lot of color variation to the tile that you can’t really tell on a sample, so when it’s installed it has some dark spots making each piece look more organic (but good to know). The Shower Plumbing We went with the Purist line in the Vibrant Brushed Moderne Brass with cross handles. The Purist remains my favorite line of theirs for both modern and transitional, but can absolutely go “modern traditional” as well. And per usual it comes in nine different finishes – all so pretty. Max chose the grout for the tile which was lighter on the walls and a bit darker grey on the floors. We talked about it after the grout was put in, and both of us would’ve done a darker blue grout on the floor, adding more of a contrast with the walls. We used white Caesarstone leftovers for all the trim and niche. We wanted to add some other design elements but didn’t want to make it too busy (and honestly at this point we were on a budget so we didn’t want to add a second tile. I felt that a paint color wouldn’t be impactful enough and didn’t necessarily want to add any wood paneling or anything like that. So once I found this wallpaper from Mitchell Black I loved how it picked up on the warmer tones of the brass and wood, but was still quiet and organic. We also didn’t know how we were going to design the guest room (and this bathroom is inside the guest room so they really needed to coordinate). So whatever we chose we didn’t want to lock us into a specific color palette just yet. This wallpaper is so neutral, soft, and pretty. This bathroom is pretty small, but this vanity has a lot of storage and works really well in here. We switched out the hardware to be black wood (stained, from Etsy) and I love that it looks like freestanding furniture. The sink and counter come with it making it easy for purchasing and install. I LOVE that light fixture, by Worley’s, which you can customize both the metal and the wood. I was greedy and wanted a multi-finish sconce so this black and wood double sconce was perfect here and married all of our finishes. The mirror was a $50 Home Goods purchase, y’all. I know these are a bit trendy and I bought it on a whim, but once I held it up we all agreed it was pretty dang cute and the idea of continuing to shop for something “better” wasn’t necessary. I like the tone of the wood with the wallpaper and the shape of the mirror with the organic “flock of birds” like pattern. For this bathroom we did a deck mount faucet, mostly to switch it up after a lot of wall mounts :) Designing five bathrooms at the same time makes you want a bit of variety. But behind the scenes, we may have wallpapered a dark slightly gold-flecked navy blue paper at first…it was a big “hell no” which was a bummer, but thank god the install of it was also problematic so we were able to re-install the new paper for free. So much better :) The flow between this bathroom and its bedroom is really pretty and while it’s small, it’s highly functional, so pretty, and does the job. Only one more bathroom left :) Stay tuned!

I Spent a Month Traveling in Europe, and This Crossbody Fit My Wallet, Umbrella, Water Bottle, Charger, and More

I tend to spend the entire day on the go when I’m traveling. I just got back from a month in Madrid, and basically every day’s itinerary went something like: museum, cathedral, shopping, and copious amounts of walking. When spending almost the whole day out and about, I like to make sure I have everything I could possibly need with me, so I turned to this surprisingly spacious Uniqlo bag. Trust me, you need the $20 purse for your upcoming spring and summer vacations. You know that scene in Harry Potter where Hermione reaches her entire arm into her clutch and pulls out clothing for three people? That’s how it feels using this bag. It’s compact, but it fits a ton. I put my wallet, phone, keys, sunglasses, umbrella, water bottle, chapstick, hand sanitizer, hand wipes, headache medicines, portable charger, tissues, and airpods (and probably a few other things I’m forgetting) in the purse. Uniqlo Round Mini Shoulder Bag While the bag can fit a lot inside, it folds flat for storage when not in use. It took up next to no room in my carry-on suitcase for the flights to and from Spain. Thanks to the purse’s water-repellent nylon material, you don’t have to worry about getting caught in the rain without an umbrella. Plus, it’s super easy to clean if anything spills on it. The bag zips closed on top to keep everything safely inside and has interior pockets to contain small items. Aside from its large capacity, my favorite aspect of the purse is that it’s a crossbody. I can keep it close to my body while doing touristy things to avoid pickpockets, which is important when traveling abroad. You can also shorten the strap to wear it on your shoulder if you want to change up your look. I’m not the only one who’s impressed with how much the small bag can hold. One reviewer said, “I put all our family’s passports, my iPhone, wipes, tissues, sunglasses, gum, lip balm, face powder, and sunscreen in it during our two weeks trip in Europe. It has been a lifesaver, easy, and safe!” And the Uniqlo purse has even gone viral recently, with one TikToker packing three days’ worth of clothing and toiletries in it. Grab the Uniqlo bag to use for your next trip or just on a daily basis for running errands. You’ll find more similar styles to shop below, too. Uniqlo Round Mini Shoulder Bag in Gingham Uniqlo Shoulder Bag Uniqlo Round Ultra Mini Bag Baggu Medium Nylon Crescent Bag Away Featherlight Crossbody

The Best—and Worst—Times to Travel Over Labor Day Weekend

Labor Day weekend is almost here, and whether you’re staying home to get some much-needed rest or traveling across state lines, the streets will be filled with bumper-to-bumper traffic. Knowing the exact times when traffic will peak is an important part of planning your holiday weekend, but don’t worry—we’ve gathered the best and worst times to travel over Labor Day weekend, so you don’t have to. Follow our advice and save yourself from the gridlock this weekend. When Is Labor Day? This year, Labor Day 2024 will take place on Monday, September 2. The federal holiday was designed to celebrate workers across the country and their contributions to the American economy, and as a result, most working people are granted a three-day weekend. The holiday is hugely popular, with many people getting on the road and treating their weekend as a mini-vacation—but the journey can be grueling. The Best and Worst Times to Travel During Labor Day Weekend If you’re traveling by air, avoid scheduling flights for Friday, August 30, especially during the midmorning and midafternoon (the busiest time for air travel). The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) anticipates August 30th will be its busiest day, with an estimated 2.86 million travelers expected to fly. Additionally, multiple airlines—including United Airlines and American Airlines—are expecting to host a record-breaking number of travelers this year. For road travelers, the worst time to drive on Thursday, August 29 is between 1 p.m. and 7:30 p.m., with rush hour traffic at its peak during the midafternoon. On Friday, August 30, the worst time to hit the road is between 2 p.m. and 6 p.m. On Monday, September 2, the roads will be packed from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. How to Beat the Crowd Ahead of Labor Day If you're traveling, it's likely you'll be delayed by large crowds at some point this Labor Day weekend, but by knowing what to expect and planning ahead, you can be better prepared. Leaving an hour or two early can help you avoid peak congestion, especially on Labor Day. If you’re traveling by plane, arrive at the airport several hours in advance to give yourself enough time to check in, go through security, and find your gate. Remember: this isn’t your average get-to-the-airport-an-hour-before-the-flight experience. Additionally, now is the time to optimize your TSA pre-check and E-ZPass to speed through as quickly as possible. The faster you make it through routine processes, the quicker you’ll get to your destination. Don’t forget to drive safely, hydrate often, and practice the virtue of patience.

Going Away? Here’s How to Keep Your Plants Alive While You Travel

If you’re like most plant enthusiasts, you probably spend a lot of time making sure your plant babies are properly watered, placed in the perfect spot for sunlight, and nurtured with the right soil and supplements. But what happens when it’s time for a vacation? If you think there’s nothing you can do, you might want to think again. With a little planning, your plants can not only survive while you're away, but actually thrive. Here's what experts have to say. Andrew Porwol, garden and landscaping expert and founder of Garden Centre Shopping Mark Thompson, garden expert and co-owner of Shoppe Choose the Right Plants While some plants require constant hands-on care, many plants will be perfectly fine if you travel for long stretches or go away on weekends. So if you are currently plant shopping, it’s important to choose wisely, says garden and landscaping expert Andrew Parwol. “Some plants, like snake plants and ZZ plants, are naturally more tolerant of drought and can survive a longer period without attention," he says. If you're worried about outdoor plants, Parwol recommends choosing lavender, rosemary, or ornamental grasses that can handle the dry, humid weather easily. “Knowing which plants can go longer without water will help you plan ahead," he says. Use Self-Watering Planters Similarly, self-watering planters can be a game changer for plant owners who are constantly on the go, Porwol says. “For container plants, consider using self-watering planters, which can keep moisture steady for up to two weeks.” Swap out those planters and leave for vacation knowing your plants won't be thirsty while you're gone. Consider Hydrogel Crystals If you're really concerned about your plants getting thirsty, consider water crystals. “You can also add hydrogel crystals to your soil mix," Porwol says. "These [crystals] absorb water and release it slowly, giving your plants consistent hydration." Make a DIY Drip System DIY drip systems are an easy and cheap option for plant maintenance, especially if you're taking a trip at the last minute. “Fill a wine bottle with water, invert it, and stick it into the soil,” Porwol says. “The water will slowly seep out as the soil dries, [making it] ideal for a quick getaway.” Move Your Plants to the Bathtub If you're planning a longer trip and have a few moments to spare before you head out, Porwol advises grouping your plants together in a bathtub, ideally lined with a towel and a shallow layer of water. “This creates more humidity and is perfect for plants to survive," he says. While this might seem inconvenient or unconventional, it can mean the difference between coming back to a home filled with thriving plants or greenery gone brown. Store Your Plants Away From the Sun Plants that are constantly in direct sunlight could wilt if they can’t be watered, says garden expert Mark Thompson. In this case, he suggests moving your plants out of sunny spots and opting for shadier rooms instead. “If you’re going to be gone for three or four days, just by moving them out of the full sun, you could potentially keep them from getting wilted,” Thompson says. For Long Vacations, Hire Help If you are going to be away for an extended period of time, longer than a couple of weeks, you might just have to pay someone to water your plants, Thompson says. “I would suggest finding a neighbor or a neighbor's kid who might water for you." On the other hand, if you really want a pro to take care of your plants while you're gone, consider hiring a plant sitter in your local area.