6 tips for preventing travel constipation

Travel

6 Tips for Preventing Travel Constipation

Drescription

Taking a vacation can really knock us off our routines, and that includes how often we go to the bathroom. For many people, traveling can really back things up. In fact, it happens so often there’s even a name for it: travel constipation. Although it isn’t a medical term, it is used to describe a complaint among people who can’t poop when they’re away from home for extended periods of time (we’re talking more than just being out for the day). It’s really common. "The person sitting next to you on the airplane, or someone on the flight crew, or another person you’re meeting likely has the same issue,” says David M. Poppers, MD PhD, and professor of medicine in the division of gastroenterology at NYU Langone Health.

Constipation is uncomfortable regardless of when it happens, but no one wants it to ruin their vacation. Try these expert tips if you experience travel constipation.

David M. Poppers, MD PhD, and professor of medicine in the division of gastroenterology at NYU Langone Health

Wendi LeBrett, MD, a Los Angeles-based gastroenterologist

What Is Travel Constipation?

Anything that disrupts your routine can affect bowel function, Dr. Poppers says. “And travel disrupts routine,” Dr. Poppers says. You’re likely not eating the same things, drinking the same amount of water, or getting the same amount of sleep, all of which affects bowel movement.

How do you know if you're constipated, anyway? You'll have no more than three bowel movements a week, according to the National Institute of Health. Further, you may have hard, painful stool and feel like your movements are incomplete, or like you didn't finish. So the phrase "travel constipation" simply refers to not having bowel movements when you're away from home—we're talking for more than just an afternoon.

How to Stay Regular While Traveling

Be Sure to Poop Before You Leave

“Prevention is the best remedy,” says Wendi LeBrett, MD, a Los Angeles-based gastroenterologist. You don't want to head into your trip backed up! She recommends increasing your fiber and liquid intake (more on both ahead) about two to three days before you’re set to leave, as they are two of the most important tools in fighting constipation.

Sneak in Your Fiber

As we mentioned, getting enough fiber is one of the most important things you can do, because it helps form your stool and makes it easier to pass, Dr. Poppers says. Fruits, vegetables, legumes, and whole grains may not be your ideal vacation foods, but they are all high-fiber foods.

Try eating some fruits and vegetables at every meal when you’re traveling, Dr. LeBrett advises. They don’t need to make up the entirety of your diet, but getting a serving every time you eat can help you get to your daily fiber goal, which is set at 14 grams per 1,000 calories of food per the USDA dietary guidelines. As a precaution, include a package of prunes or dried kiwi into your carry-on bag for snacking, both of which can help you poop, Dr. LeBrett says. “Prunes are a classic option, but kiwi is also really effective for helping with constipation,” Dr. LeBrett says. “There are a number of studies showing that eating two kiwis a day is equivalent to some of the more traditional laxatives.”

Stop Neglecting Your Fluids

You probably don’t realize you’re doing it, but many people drink far less liquid while traveling, Dr. LeBrett says from her experience working with patients. And that’s a problem, because dehydration makes constipation worse. “When people are traveling and out sightseeing, they naturally tend to drink less water because they don't have access to a public restroom as easily,” Dr. LeBrett says. Recommended fluid intake is dependent on a variety of factors including a person’s activity level, size, and where they are located. Generally, women need an average of approximately 2.7 liters of water, which can come from food and beverages too, and men need an average of 3.7 liters of water, according to the The National Academies of Science, Engineering and Medicine. You may want to drink more if you’re in a warmer climate or if you’re drinking more alcohol than you typically would, Dr. Poppers says.

If you're flying, it's important to know that air travel can cause dehydration because plane cabins can have low humidity. Keep this in mind when the flight attendant comes around with the beverage cart!

Get Moving

This can include traditional exercise, but it doesn’t have to. For example, you can walk instead of taking public transportation when sightseeing. Regardless of the specifics, getting plenty of movement can get things moving, Dr. Poppers says. “Activity increases motility, and with that, the intestinal tract has less time to absorb water,” he explains. Although it may seem counterintuitive, you actually develop dry, hard stools when your colon absorbs too much liquid. “So you get a more lubricated stool after exercising,” Dr. Poppers says.

Going out of your way to exercise can feel like a chore, so try Dr. LeBrett’s favorite way of slipping it in. “I'm a big advocate for walking after a meal,” she says. “It helps with the digestion process, so it can prevent constipation, gas, and bloating,” Dr. LeBrett says.

Maintain Your Routine

As much as it’s possible, you want to keep up the habits that keep you pooping regularly (assuming you do. Otherwise, that's a different story!). “Our guts are creatures of habit,” Dr. LeBrett says. “They’re used to the same diet, the same routine, and the same sleep patterns,” she says. You don’t need to adhere to a strict schedule, but at least be mindful of how drastically you’re veering away from a typical day. For example, if you normally sleep a solid eight hours, never drink alcohol, eat from all colors of the rainbow (meaning you probably get loads of fiber), and start your morning with a workout, then you don’t want to do the exact opposite when you’re away from home. Think about ways you can enjoy your trip and practice moderation, by say, having one less glass of wine with dinner, drinking plenty of water, and taking that post-meal walk.

Try Stretching (on the Toilet)

If you are hit with traveler’s constipation, Dr. LeBrett recommends trying the piriformis stretch, named after the muscle being stretched, which is located in the gluteal region. This stretch can help relax your pelvic floor muscles, making it easier to have a bowel movement. You can see how to do the stretch on Dr. LeBrett’s TikTok page. Alternatively, Dr. LeBrett says a toilet stool can help relax your pelvic floor muscles as well.

29 Dresses That Will Comfortably Take You Through The End Of Fall (And They’re Under $150!)

While most of us in the States are still waiting for that first intoxicating fall breeze, it’s coming sooner than we think. So it’s that awkward time when we no longer want to invest in “summer clothes” but also don’t want to buy something and wait a month or two to wear our cute new picks. We all know the answer though don’t we?? IT’S A DRESS. But not just any dress. This dress needs to be versatile and take us from now through the fall (and ideally beyond). Extra points if you can easily layer with tights and a coat. And that’s what we have for you today, 29 dresses that still feel fun enough for the end of summer but will easily transition into the cooler months. Oh, and all but two are under $150 and many are under $100. It’s a party! Denim I wanted to start with a classic and a style that is synonymous with Emily Henderson and EHD as a whole…The short denim dress! She’s been wearing them for years for a reason. They are maybe the most versatile type of dress because look casual but like you still tried. For the summer, they are great with a cute flat but come the fall, they look SO cute with leggings and tall boots. Heck, you can even throw a long-sleeved top under if you want. You really can’t lose here. Now for these picks above. On the left, I chose this very fun and sweet $45 cutie with a slight puff sleeve that I love. Since it’s from Old Navy the sizing goes up to 4x and has three different length options. THANK YOU OLD NAVY! For the dress on the right, I really love the wash of that denim but it’s Madewell so no surprise there. The stitching on this one is also just so good and I love the shape of the pocket flaps (?) Very classic. This one also comes in a light wash but this one feels more “year-round” to me. If a full-on button-down dress isn’t your vibe then this adorable and very cool quarter button-down may be perfect! It’s only $50 (I KNOW!) and also from Old Navy with all of their sizing options. And let’s not forget to mention those great pockets and the fact that the sleeves are long for extra warmth in colder months. But an added striped long-sleeved turtle neck would look pretty cute and make it even cozier. Then the dress on the right is from Abercrombie and if you saw our try-on post you know that Caitlin and Mal loved their sleeveless version. But this very chic version comes in two other colors and three different lengths. So don’t stress if you love it but think it might be too short! Striped Loose Shirtdress For a similar vibe to the dresses above, but in lighter/slightly more warm weather-friendly fabrics, are these cotton shirt dresses. As a team of stripe lovers, I thought these two could use their own special category:) But both of them also come in other solid colors that might be better for fall if you prefer. I just loved how cool and simple the cuts/details of these were. And as the hot summer sun cools down these would look great with a jean or a leather jacket paired with some booties. Elevated Shirtdress While almost all of the dresses in this post have a throw-on-and-go aesthetic, this section in particular really embodies it. Look at the blue dress on the left. It’s got a cool sleeve length, a nice little V-neckline, and is beautifully tiered. It’s just easy to wear in so many different situations. Another perfect one for flats in the summer and cute boots for colder weather. You will look great for under $60! But I also love the effortless coolness of the olive green dress. This is a great dress for right now (end of summer) but once it cools down a little, layering a patterned long-sleeve shirt or just rolling down the dress’s sleeves will be perfect. I also think that loose waistline is a great way to call attention to your waist without any constriction. THE DREAM. But also let’s not forget to have fun with pattern! We are so used to busting out the fun florals, etc for spring and summer but they deserve to be out all year long. This patterned shirtdress is still loose but has great details to not make it feel too unstructured. We are newish to Boden but boy are we fans. This dress is not only under $100 the sizing is way more inclusive than most. Structured Shirt Dress For a more structured look, these two are ELEGANT. The shapes are playful but the fabrics are super relaxed. These are also great for the office (you’d just have to make sure the eyelet dress was a good length for your job). Otherwise, these are great options for places and events where you don’t want to be dressy but you do want to look nice. Oversized Chic I know these two won’t be everyone’s cup of tea but I LOVE them. They feel so cool and more oversized/architectural than most. The dress on the left has less shape (but does have pockets!) and the dress on the right is a bit more fitted if that’s more your style. They are styled for warm weather in these shots but I’m telling you, black tights and over-the-knee boots topped off with an oversized coat, no one is going to look chicer than you. Not Your Average Shirtdress There seems to be a pretty wide definition for what a shirtdress is but if that green corduroy is one then SIGN ME UP! It’s another beauty from Boden and that color is maybe perfect. I also happen to love corduroy. It’s fall time gold that could also be worn at the tail end of summer as long as it’s not too hot:) As for the black dress on the right, I like how it feels both casual and kinda edgy? I mean that zipper is very cool and makes it feel unique. Plus it’s from J. Crew so you know the quality to great! Structured Maxi Sleeveless Wow, I love this silhouette! The lines are stunning and that high-neck + sleeveless look just screams “I don’t care about trends, I just know what looks good.” The tan number on the left is one of the picks that is a little over $150. But at $168, it’s 100& linen, has a pocket, is fully lined, and has that great belt. Add heeled boots and a trench coat an it’s a perfect outfit. The black one is actually denim which I think makes it even cooler! The cut definitely looks formal but the denim really makes it more casual. Oh, plus the denim has a stretch and it’s under $100. Win-win! Cool Lines Would this be an EHD fashion post if we didn’t have a lot of stripe options? I didn’t think so:) Stripes are timeless, are great year-round, and these two dresses are both of those things. Now, if you know me you know my love of my shoulder-padded t-shirts is almost too deep to talk about. I wear all three of them every week (and have for at least three years). This is all to say that while this black and white dress’s shoulders aren’t padded, I love the slightly exaggerated muscle tee look! This is just a cool gal-vibe dress that truly could be accessorized with nearly any style. The other dress on the right really caught my eye because of that color combo! Who doesn’t love ochre and navy together?? We sure do. Plus, the silhouette is so pretty and it comes in four other colors. Gobsmocked! It’s now time to get a little whimsical. A smock dress is another classic we all love too. This deep wine color on the left dress is to die for. Definitely more “fall” than “summer” but also who cares! It’s beautiful, has so many pretty details, and is a good price at $88. Then for our long-sleeved beauty, you get a bit more coverage, if that’s your preference, and pockets! And that one is under $55. While nearly all of the dresses I’m about to talk about fall into this category, these two are great options for Thanksgiving dresses if you are into thinking that far ahead:) Whimsically Earthy I truly fell in love with these colors as much as I did with the shapes. The dress on the left is still in the smocked category with that great waist definier but those sleeves are also a showstopper. If I’m honest this dress definitely reminds me of Ulla Johnson but for a fraction of the price at $50. Old Navy is coming through with the style, sizing, and prices. But if you prefer something a little less detailed and fitted this dress on the right is perfect for you. The rich color, the awesome puff sleeves, and the tiered look have me absolutely sold. And see? Great Thanksgiving dress options. Neutral AND Fun You may or may not have guessed that the dress on the left is the other dress that is slightly above the $150 mark (but only by $8!). But look at it. How could I have not included it?! The shape of it might be my other favorite and I love that it’s a print that isn’t a floral (not shade to florals, just nice to have other options). No notes and I think it’s a perfect option for all year long. Then the dress on the right is an awesome floral dress that’s still in the neutral-toned world but a little moodier. I think that’s a perfect vibe for the last part of the year and/or if you aren’t a bold color person. Also, great sleeves and a sweet little detail between each tier. Pattern Play Speaking of patterns, look these these stunners! Small-scale patterns with modest necklines, and fitted bodices. I’m in. Plus, you don’t even have to ask yourself “What bra am I going to wear with this??” because you can wear whichever one you want! Since these are both long-sleeved, they aren’t going to be as versatile with those lingering hot days of summer. But hey, maybe you work in a really cold office so some sleeves are welcome:) Last but not least is this fun and elegant beauty. This one is going to show a little more cleavage (unless you add a tank top of some kind under). But I love that it’s long, there’s a pretty detail at the shoulders, and it has a very fun bold print. The colors are so pretty too! Oh, and it goes up to a size 20/22 and comes in three different lengths. It’s a slam dunk which is how I like to end every post:) What do you think? Any favorites? Any reviews if you own one of these dresses? Let’s chat! Love you, mean it.

A Quick Painting The Stairs Post…And How It’s Been Holding Up

This is a case of “how we tried to keep the budget low by saving money on the floors upstairs” which now just seems hilarious and cute. That’s right. Years ago when we bought this house we knew that we needed to do a lot of work on the first floor (reconfigure the living room, add the totally necessary sunroom, and redo the poorly constructed 60s addition). But the second floor was fine! Just needed some paint and new carpet. It’s just for the kids anyway, not our room…But once we realized that we needed all new plumbing and actual electrical, it was full of asbestos and lots of lead paint, we ended up tearing open the walls. But we were still in this “let’s save up here, the kids don’t need fancy” attempt. We wanted to splurge downstairs on some things, including the flooring, but upstairs? No, it was fine! We’d put in new carpet (there wasn’t original wood underneath), and paint the stairs and the landing. Done. Underneath the carpet here on the stairs was wood flooring (just not in the bedrooms and I don’t remember why or what was in there). While I love a runner ideally this would’ve been a natural wood. The stairs, underneath the carpet, were in great shape. The subfloor was good and they didn’t creak very much. The landing was fine, just needed some patching and a bit of restoration but I actually like the look of wobbly wood painted white in old houses. Great. So the decision was made and everyone agreed – just keep the wood stairs, the stringer, and the flooring on the landing and paint it. This is after months of construction but as you can see it was in worse and worse condition. Here’s a bit of the painted process: The Painted Stairs We chose the color Smoky Blue by Sherwin-Williams and we love it. Now in the grand scheme of things do I wish that we had wood stairs and wood floors instead of carpeted rooms? A tiny bit, but not very much. The cost difference was certainly not huge in comparison to the cost of the renovation so it just seems silly now that we tried to save money here. I truly do love the color and I love the wall-to-wall carpet – it’s very cozy, comfortable, and calming. Did painting the stairs instead of installing new stairs save us some money? Sure, but honestly probably just a couple thousand dollars in materials and a couple thousand in labor. Which isn’t nothing! If I could go back in time would I still make that choice? I honestly haven’t thought about it til this very second, which means I don’t really regret it. But sure, if I could snap my fingers I’d put that gorgeous Zena flooring everywhere and layer rugs. I asked my painter what they used and how they did it and here’s what she said: 1. What kind of primer did we use on the stairs? We used Zinsser Cover Stain oil-based primer (Stain Blocker). 2. How many coats of primer were applied? 1 coat of primer. 3. How many coats of the TREAD-PLEX Waterborne floor coating will be applied? 1 light coat first, then 2 hours later we do a full coat of paint. 4. How will it be applied? Hand or Spray? Sprayed. 5. Do you do the tread and riser at the same time? If not, what order will they be painted in? Will the stringer be painted 1st? The stringer gets painted first, then once it is dry, we cover it up with masking paper. Once the stringer is completely covered, we start painting the stairs. 6. How long does it need to cure between coats? 2 hours. The Real Question: How Has It Kept Up Since Moving In? It’s only been since late August, so 3 months tops. We always knew that we were going to add a runner but it’s taken longer than I planned, so there are some tiny chips on the edges of the treads and hard-to-see cracks already due to a lot of wear and tear. I’m very excited to get the stair runner installed (we chose this one). Stay tuned!

How to Revive Near-Dead Hydrangeas and Save Your Garden in the Process

The keys to healthy, showy hydrangeas are well-draining soil, the correct amount of light, water, and nutrients, and providing protection from extreme temperatures. The majority of plant problems are not caused by a disease or an insect but by poor growing conditions, incorrect care, weather extremes, and soggy soil. However, no matter how much you try, some pests, diseases, and growing conditions can cause hydrangeas to die. With quick intervention, you may be able to reverse the damage to your near-dead hydrangea, revive it, and bring it back to a healthy state. Here's how. Check the Soil Moisture Level Hydrangeas like lots of water, but it is possible to overwater, especially in heavy clay, slow-draining soil. Leaf drop and brown leaf edges are signs that the roots are sitting in water and you are overwatering. Always check the soil moisture before watering. If the soil is dry about an inch or more deep, it's safe to add more water. A lack of water can also cause hydrangeas to die. If the leaves are droopy, the plant needs to be watered. Drip irrigation that adds moisture slowly so it is absorbed properly at the root level is a good choice to keep hydrangeas healthy. Want more gardening tips? Sign up for our free gardening newsletter for our best growing tips, troubleshooting hacks, and more! Provide Afternoon Shade Whether your hydrangeas are planted in the garden or in containers, they will grow much better if they receive morning sun and some afternoon shade from the hot sun. Crispy, browning leaves are a sure indication that the plants are getting too much direct sunlight. Container-grown plants can be moved easily or shaded by an umbrella or covered trellis. Garden plants may need to be transplanted to a better location in the fall when temperatures cool. Get Rid of Slugs and Snails Disappearing leaves and leaves with large holes indicate a slug or snail problem in the garden. The pests are particularly fond of new tender hydrangea leaves. Fortunately, slug control is usually simple: hand-remove the pests, kill them with salt, or drown them in a pan of beer. Improve Air Circulation Fungal diseases like powdery mildew leave irregular brown patches on hydrangea leaves and flower heads that if left uncorrected can kill the entire plant. Fungal disease damage can often be eliminated by pruning plants to improving the air circulation in and around the shrub. Always remove the diseased parts of the plant and dispose of them in a plastic bag. Apply a copper fungicide if the problem is widespread. Flush Away Excess Fertilizer Hydrangeas thrive in nutrient-rich soil amended by compost or other organic matter. If you choose to use a commercial fertilizer and add too much, you risk burning the root system, which can cause the plant's blooms and leaves to turn brown, droop, and eventually die. If you've been overzealous with a water-soluble fertilizer, it is possible to still save the plant if you flush the fertilizer out of the soil. When you begin to notice the signs of damage, use a hose to slowly water the plant, giving it more water than normal. The excess water will help move the fertilizer through the soil and away from the root system of your hydrangea. Reverse Transplant Shock Whether you are planting a new hydrangea from the garden center or transplanting an established plant to a new location in the garden, it should be done during spring or fall when temperatures are cooler. This gives the plant time to recover without having to suffer through the scorching temperatures of summer. Whenever a hydrangea is planted or transplanted, expect some leaf wilt. Water the plant deeply at least once a day. Mulch around the plant to preserve soil moisture and continue this watering routine until the wilting stops. Do not fertilize the plant or prune away the wilted stems because both cause even more stress to the plant.

My Overstuffed Closet Caused An Identity Crisis – Here’s How I Got Through It

There was a time in my life – we’ll call it the business casual era – when I owned thirteen blazers but not a single pair of pants I actually liked. I had work blazers (essential), dinner blazers (aspirational), date blazers (optimistic), and the emergency funeral blazer (because one must always remain prepared for stylish grief, I guess). I had one blazer that only worked with a single top, and one top that only worked with a specific bra, which had to be hand-washed, which meant that outfit was basically cursed. My closet wasn’t just a clothing repository: it was a museum of my life choices. Party dresses I rarely wore to parties, jeans too uncomfortable to sit down in (a minor detail), a pair of boots I adored even though they made me walk like a marionette, and an alarming number of clothes I’d purchased for a version of myself that had only rarely shown up to claim them. I bought clothes the way some people buy self-help books: aspirationally, and in a panic. My closet was bursting, but my daily pronouncement remained: I have nothing to wear. It took an embarrassingly long time (and probably a few too many existential crises in front of an open wardrobe) to understand the real issue. My problem wasn’t a totally catastrophic lack of taste (though I’m sure some of you might offer a counterpoint) – the problem was that I wanted to outfit each aspect of my personality. Put simply: I was picking pieces for too many different versions of myself. It wasn’t just that I didn’t like my options. I had built uniforms for disparate lives – I had outfits for crust punk basement shows and for summer on the Cape; for bougie branded parties and for the local DSA meeting; for ice skating competitions and for blending in at the recording studio when my boss told me to throw out any other woman’s résumé, as they likely only wanted to sleep with the band. (Being a woman is super fun, right?!) But it wasn’t just that I was playing dress up. I was, as it turned out, costuming (and not in the fun, let’s go to a masquerade ball kind of way). No – this was the insidious, slow-creep kind of costuming where you wake up one morning, stare into the abyss of your closet, and realize that every single garment was acquired as a uniform for a specific performance – like it’s for someone else, or some version of you that isn’t the one currently staring back. The moment that finally cracked me wasn’t a high-stakes occasion. It was a Friday night, and I was trying to find something, anything, to wear for dinner with my best friends – friends who have known me forever; who neither require, nor expect, a polished version of me. And still, I was stuck. Staring into my closet, I was confronted by a veritable sea of options, and somehow, none of them felt right for a night of shared appetizers and gossip with this group of friends. The thought struck me: I don’t know how to be myself here. I had attire for dates, for international flights, for funerals (see: emergency blazer, above). But for pasta, or errands, or love/hate-watching And Just Like That? Nothing. Now, let’s be clear: it wasn’t that my clothes were languishing with tags on. They weren’t monuments to my aspirational shopping. Au contraire: these pieces were operational. They weren’t just for imagined futures – they were my daily-wear costumes for a very real, very scheduled life. I had outfits for tour buses, for awkward backstage photos, for investor pitches where I tried to look like I understood spreadsheets. Outfits for dive bars (a different kind of pitch), for brand dinners (smile, nod, don’t spill), for handing over a P&L statement with a brave face. Each look had a function, and each function came with a slightly different me that needed to be appropriately outfitted. The problem wasn’t that the clothes weren’t useful. The problem was that I had compartmentalized myself into so many different women that I could no longer find any discernible overlap. My closets were an archive of who I’d been in specific, calendared moments, but offered zero guidance for who I was when the calendar was blissfully, terrifyingly empty. (I’m sure you can guess what happened next.) Then the world hit pause, and my meticulously curated calendar went with it. No shows, no shoots, no strategy dinners, no meetings that could have been emails. Just me, my increasingly judgmental closet, and a rotating cast of sweatpants. For a while, I convinced myself it was temporary. That at any moment, I might be called to dress for something, anything. (And at one point, I was – a Zoom wedding. I watched as their outdoor ceremony was crashed by an NYPD police boat.) But the months unspooled, and the clothes just hung there, smug and silent. So again, I cracked. Not because the clothes were useless, but because they were suddenly, profoundly unemployed. No meetings to navigate, no flights to catch, no crowds to stand in. Just me, at home, day after day, month after month, staring down a closet meticulously built for a schedule of events that no longer existed. I still remember when it happened: I started pulling pieces out of my closet with the manic clarity of a woman bleaching her kitchen grout at 3 AM. (Ask me how I know.) Blazers, blouses, and the chain-covered boots that had complemented my once-purple/green/blue hair – out they went. I didn’t weep. (And I certainly didn’t hold each one and thank it for its service like some organizational guru might suggest, despite my sentimental nature.) I bagged them. I moved on. The truly absurd part wasn’t the volume of what I owned, but how perfectly each item had once fit into a part of my life that no longer needed costuming. After the Great Wardrobe Eviction, I assumed Style™ would reveal itself. That’s the promise, isn’t it? Pare things down and your True Self, fashionably clad, will emerge like Venus from the clamshell. You’ll make a Pinterest board. You’ll define your five essential adjectives. You’ll effortlessly build a capsule wardrobe in soothing shades of camel, oat, and existential despair. Supposedly, your closet becomes a temple. You become the kind of woman who wears linen jumpsuits to run errands and owns exactly three sweaters, all named. I didn’t believe all of it, but I wanted to believe some of it. Yet nothing arrived. No style epiphany, no sartorial lightning bolt. Just a significantly emptier wardrobe and the creeping, deeply unsettling realization that I had absolutely no clue what I actually felt comfortable in. I knew what had worked for various roles, but me, unscripted? Blank canvas. I didn’t necessarily want a capsule wardrobe, with all its implied monastic chic. I just wanted to get dressed and feel like myself. Instead, I felt like an actor waiting for a casting director to hand me a new character. I’d cut the noise, but the signal, it turned out, had packed its bags and left with the blazers. It was just…quiet. (And not the good, meditative, Gwyneth-on-a-silent-retreat way. More the bleak, is this all there is? kind of quiet.) Eventually, I gave up on “finding a look” – which always sounds like you’re searching for a fugitive – and started looking for a standard. If I couldn’t dress for a specific context, maybe I could dress for some core values. Rules were made (because when in doubt, make rules). Natural fibers, exclusively, because a 2024 trip to pristine Antarctica had instilled in me a deep, lingering climate guilt. Fewer things, but better things – things that might actually survive more than three dates with my laundromat’s 8-load machine. No more shoes I couldn’t walk a respectable city mile in, no more patterns that were impossible to match, no more tops that were held hostage by that one specific bra. What came next wasn’t some cinematic reveal: it was just Tuesday. No makeover montage, no triumphant strut. I just got dressed. Badly, at first. And then slightly less badly. Some days, I looked goofy. Other days I looked like myself, or at least someone I’d be friends with. It’s a weird, slow, deeply unglamorous process, this excavation of what you wear when you’re not specifically anywhere – no event, no deliverables, no audience. Just Tuesday. Just you. It turns out, when you’ve spent a lifetime building wardrobes for very distinct, very real contexts – studios, offices, cities, farms – you can accidentally skip the fundamental step of figuring out what you throw on to buy milk. Or to go to dinner. Or, crucially, to sit alone on your own couch and feel like yourself. There’s a very fine, often line between personal style and collective bargaining with your self-esteem. For me, it wasn’t about insecurity – not really. I think it was more about range – I was so worried about dressing to fit in that I somehow forgot to ask what I’d wear if no one else was there. I think that if you really want to know who someone is, don’t look at what they wear – ask what they keep and never don, just in case. I kept a lot. I did wear almost all of it, at some point. But when I was finally alone, I realized I didn’t know what any of it meant. Not about the world, but about me. These days, when I get dressed, the outfit isn’t the answer. It’s the question. And at least now, I have a much better idea of who I’m asking. How To Start So, your closet? Does it feel less like a curated collection and more like a holding pen for a witness protection program of various past selves? Are you staring at a bewildering array of “stuff” and thinking, Surely, one of these things must feel like…me? And have you, like me, Googled for help only to be met with blindingly obvious advice that makes you want to scream into the nearest sensible scarf? (Wow: Buy what makes you feel good? Oh man! Insightful! What wise chestnut is next? Avoid hitting yourself on the head with a hammer?) I’ve been there. It sucks. Here’s what I’ve found helpful when it comes to clearing the clutter and making room for Style™, whenever it decides to show up (any day now, I’d hope). Pare Down Donate: I donate my basics to Goodwill. You can also keep an eye out for those in your community who are in direct need of aid – Jess and I pooled our donations and were able to outfit a Pasadena teacher who’d lost everything in the Eaton Fire. (Shoutout to Sara Tramp for organizing!) Trade: Got stuff that’s seen better days? (Like, way better days?) Anything stained, ripped, or hole-y? Don’t throw it in the trash – I swear by Suay’s $20 textile bags, whose cost can be reapplied to any Suay product. (I love this business. Like, they’ll deal with all my icky textile crap, and I can get a stellar lumbar pillow out of the deal?) Sell: Okay, I admit I clung to some of my “splurgier” uniforms – I mean, pieces. Wedding guest dresses I swore I’d wear again (I didn’t), trousers that promised a new, leaner me (they lied), matching sets that looked great on the hanger (the betrayal!!!). I’ve had a ton of luck offloading these pieces on Poshmark, though! I initially balked at the time commitment, but then I made $200 back on a dress I’d only worn once. It was an incredible return for 5 minutes of my time. (There are alternatives here, but this is the only one I’ve vetted.) Consign: If the thought of photographing another blouse makes you want to lie down, look for local consignment shops. (If you’re in LA, The Left Bank is a solid bet.) Just let someone else do the work and collect a (smaller) check. Worth it. (If you’re a size 12 or above, your clothes are always in demand at consignment stores, FYI.) Index (Or Indyx) As it turns out, I suffer from a peculiar affliction: I cannot, for the life of me, conjure images in my mind. When people talk about their “mind’s eye” or “imagining the audience in their underwear” – well, I always thought that was a literary device. Metaphorical. Implied, not literal. A charming turn of phrase! It was only recently I learned that most people can, quite literally, see things in their heads. (Given a natural inclination towards distraction, perhaps this is a mercy. I would likely spend my days conjuring pastries.) But this posed a silent, daily problem for my wardrobe. I knew the facts: I owned black linen pants. There were tank tops, somewhere, in that drawer. My favorite dress was red, with zodiac signs. But I couldn’t see them. Couldn’t picture combinations. Getting dressed was a daily archaeological dig involving pulling everything out and sighing dramatically. Enter: Indyx. (Link Up readers, you may be familiar.) Cataloging my clothes felt absurd at first, but it was – and I’m not being overdramatic – transformative. I can actually scroll through my clothes like an ultra-specific personal shopping app. I can play mix-and-match before creating Mount Laundry on my floor. I can see what I actually wear (and, more importantly, what I consistently ignore). It’s a process, not a miracle cure. You could do the same thing with a photo album on your phone, but Indyx is prettier. Live Out of A Carry-On This one has been the most helpful, I think. I’ve spent 4 of the last 5 months living out of a carry-on suitcase. I’m not even suggesting that you have to travel to do this – you could also try it at home! – but there’s something liberating about pulling only what fits in a carry-on suitcase and learning how to mix-and-match from a refined, edited collection of only essentials. Suddenly, faced with a severely limited selection, I was forced to actually style things. That button-up? Can I tie it? Can I tuck it differently? That dress? Can it be a skirt? Can it be layered? It stripped away the paralysis of too many options and forced creativity. It also gave me a clear metric for success: when I felt genuinely bummed out that something was in the laundry hamper because I wanted to wear it again, I knew I’d found a winner. These were the pieces that felt like me, even in miniature form. And Rent, For Some Variety PRAISE BE TO THE NUULY FOUNDERS. I’m still on the hunt for my Style™ – it feels like a mythical creature, sometimes – and opening my subscription is my low-stakes safari. Six pieces a month means I can try cuts, colors, and general aesthetics I wouldn’t commit to buying (or, honestly, even trying on in person). It’s a lifesaver during the brutal LA “winter” (read: jacket season) and the holiday party circuit (no more staring mournfully at unworn sequin dresses!). It’s experimentation without the commitment – perfect for this phase of life, while i figure out who I am. (I guess I’m just starting that mid-life crisis a few years early, huh?) What say you? Any thoughts? Tips? Advice? I can’t be the only woman whose path to self-discovery involved staring blankly into a closet, can I? Has this happened to you? CAN WE TALK ABOUT IT?