Today’s episode is an interview with live coach and intimacy expert, Amanda Louder. We discuss how to change your mindset to increase desire and why that is so beneficial to becoming the best version of ourselves. We debunk several desire diminishers and talk about how to feel confident and sexy inside and outside of the bedroom.
To check out Amanda’s special gift to my listeners Roadmap to Personal Pleasure, go to this link: https://amandalouder.com/brighterside/
To find other amazing resources by Amanda, go to her website: https://amandalouder.com/ or her podcast: Live From Love on your favorite podcast listening app.
You can find my FREE How to Get More Support From Your Husband here: https://onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/husbandsupport and register for the 5 Day Seduce Your Spouse Challenge here: https://onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/syschallenge
Today we are chatting with my long-time friend Cami Hurst. Mom of 4, counselor, and sex therapist – she believes that our sexuality was designed to bring power, connection and pleasure into our lives.
She is a passionate counselor, educator, speaker and advocate. She hosts the podcast Sex Therapy 101, has her own private practice, and is the founder of the Association of Sexual Health Professionals of Idaho.
She is driven to help couples create LIFE LONG love stories. To do this we must know: The 6 principles of sexual health:
1. There must be consent, to prevent any emotional or physical negative effects.
2. Non-exploitation, where both parties are free from any power or extortion in retaining sexual favors.
3. Honesty, whether or not we are “faking” something or not.
4. Shared values, couples need to come together and agree on what is acceptable to prevent hurt feelings.
5. Protection from pregnancy and STIs– being honest about exposure.
6. Mutual Pleasure– both people have a right to mutual pleasure.
There is no “right way” to have a healthy sexual relationship. What is really comes down to is what YOU and YOUR PARTNER agree upon and are BOTH mutually satisfied with. Communication is key and it is important to understand what your expectations are in the relationship in order for it to be successful.
She also teaches us about the different forms of sexual desires. Spontaneous desire vs responsive desire. Spontaneous desire is what is most often portrayed in the movies or in books. “I am horny and want sex now”, which is mostly common for men. Whereas, responsive desire is when “sex is not on my mind, but you might be able to talk or touch me into it”. It is important to know that we are not all hard wired the same. You and your partner may not both feel spontaneous desire at the same time. But they may be able to respond to your desire.
Appreciating our partner’s differences makes for long term fulfilling partnerships- NOT striving for sameness.
To continue the conversation or learn more about Cami, you can find her at: https://camihurst.com/ or check out her Sex Therapy 101 Podcast.
The book she mentioned in this episode is called: Becoming Clitorate by Laurie Mintz, PhD: https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Cliterate-Orgasm-Equality-Matters/dp/0062484389.
You can sign up for the 5 Day Seduce Your Spouse Challenge Here: https://onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/syschallenge
My guest today is my good friend, Jessica Frew, who is a wife, ex-wife, mom, and step-mom. We are talking about the challenges she has faced and how she has come out of them even stronger. She talks about her two marriages and how she, her husband and her ex started a podcast together called, Husband in Law. They discuss how they have created a healthy family and working relationship with each other and how they have chosen to show up for their daughter!
She talks about how to keep fighting even when life deals you a seemingly impossible hand, and how feeling love, respect and safety with your spouse can truly create that emotional and intimate connection we all long for. With this beautiful connection, couples are able to express themselves and be vulnerable and share those parts of themselves with each other that otherwise might feel uncomfortable.
In her practice, she helps women understand that they are worthy as they are and to stop selling themselves short. She talks about the importance of understanding your self worth and taking ownership of any situation you’re given in life to start showing up as the person you want to be. Once you understand this concept, it doesn’t matter what anyone else does or thinks!
You can connect with Jessica on Facebook at @jessicafrew, Instagram at @husband_in_law or on her podcast, Husband in Law.
Here is a free download that will help you identify those areas that you’re struggling: https://linktr.ee/theboldlogic.
Today we are chatting with Alexandra Stockwell MD, author of the book Uncompromising Intimacy. She is a relationship and intimacy expert just like me. Alexandra believes that when both people know how to love and be loved for exactly who they are, the relationship is juicy, nourishing and deeply satisfying.
Alexandra is breaking the traditions of marital advice and teaching couples that compromise does not lead to long term relationship success. We should not let our spouse’s needs become more important than our own. Not to say that you should get your way all the time or that you dominate the relationship, instead learning how to be vulnerable with each other and honest about our wants and desires.
How do we do this? By cultivating curiosity, being curious about your partner and asking questions about what they like and don’t like. This allows us to be more curious about ourselves and we can learn and accept our own desires and needs.
Every interaction we have with our spouse that isn’t sex is foreplay. Moments throughout the day are either bringing you closer together or building up walls, resentment, and separation. We discuss ways to have difficult conversations with our spouses that can not only end with our desired outcome, but also builds excitement to get into the bedroom.
For more information, check out her website at: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/
To download and read the first chapter of her book for FREE go to: https://chapter.alexandrastockwell.com/
If you would like to download my freebie – 51 Ways to Initiate Sex with Your Spouse, you can do so here: https://onthebrightersideofmarriage.com/51waysinitiate
This week, I’m interviewing Laura M. Brotherson, certified sex therapist and author of Knowing Her Intimately: 12 Keys for Creating a Sextraordinary Marriage. Laura is one of my first mentors on this topic and I hope to follow in her footsteps, helping couples understand the true importance of sex within the marriage relationship.
In this episode, we discuss the 12 T’s of female sexual wiring and how each of them contribute to creating a truly transcendent experience for both partners. Here are a few of the resources we mentioned in the interview:
- BOOK – Knowing HER Intimately: 12 Keys for Creating a Sextraordinary Marriage use the code ‘knowher’ to get the book for just $10.
- HANDOUT – “12 T’s of Female Sexual Wholeness“
- WEBSITES – StrengtheningMarriage.com and The Marital Intimacy Institute – especially Laura’s Resources Page
Also mentioned in this episode, I am doing a YouTube series on the Laura’s 12 T’s. Episode #1 on Transformed can be found here.
If you have any questions about anything you heard in this episode, you can schedule a relationship breakthrough call with me here.
Also, make sure you are subscribed to this podcast, because starting this week, we will be publishing 2 episodes each week. The second will be Conversations with Interracial Couples and you do not want to miss these important conversations.